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Nuts To You
Publishers Summary Foamy & Pilz-E toss nuts at park goers. Script Pillz-E appears from behind a tree branch, followed by Foamy : Pillz-E : Hey hey, hi, foamy over there with the things, I haven’t seen you here for quite some time with the trees and the leaves and the things with the bee’s, Hi! and just... : Foamy : Yeah.. well I’ve been busy, you know. I got this owner thing over here that I have to take care of. You know the humans are more hassle than they’re worth. : Pillz : E'''So, aw jeez, SO, you’re here to toss the nuts like you used to? With the things and the swingings and the Shoommmzzz!!! : '''Foamy : Yeah that’s right I’m coming back and Im going to do some fucking heavy nut tossing. Foamy holds an acorn briefly above his head. : So here we go let’s pick a target. Foamy Peers into the distance. : Pillz-E : How about that thing over there with the things and the stroller and the baby and the yellings and the doo-waaa... Cuts to a scene with a bimbo and a black stroller, with a babies arm holding a skull rattle. : Foamy : Weeellll…. Mm maybe later, but I’m thinking about going for that old lady over there giving out free food to those fucking pidgeons. Foamy points Cuts to an elderly woman sitting at a park bench giving food to a pidgeon. : Elderly Lady : Pidgy, pidgy, pidgy.. potato... : Pillz-E : Yeah the pigeons and the things, I don’t like them because they steal the food with the things and I don’t like them because sometimes they steal my nuts. : Foamy : Yeah, okay.. whatever! Alright, ready! Holding an acorn. : Aim, who-ha fire! Foamy hurls the acorn the acorn decapitates the elderly woman. : Pillz-E : Who look at that, her head went boom like a big thing gone exploded like and the choo choo choom! : Foamy : Dude, what is wrong with you? Why do you talk like that? You’re like woody allen on crack! : I don’t know my mom put me on this medication, I said attention disofficer, dissofficer, attention deficit disorder with the things and Im apparently not paying attention… what were you saying.. hi! : Foamy : Alright, next target let’s see what we’ve got here! : Pillz-E : I say, I say the baby with the big mouth and the yelling and the crying and the whining should be died! Foamy holding an acorn. : Foamy : Whoa! Okay! Should probably go for the mother first. Aaaa welcome to eternity baby! Throws acorn. The acorn decapitates the lower half of the bimbo blood everywhere : Bimbo : This is like the worst ever! Wow! This is like totally fucking painful! The blood is like everywhere! Oh my God!!! Bimbo falls to the ground as is to be expect seeing as her legs have mysteriously gone. : Pillz-E : That wasn’t such a good shot with the baby and the legs and the legs going boom over there and now she’s limping around like a crazy lady. Holding acorn. : Foamy : Don’t worry the next one will get her! Ready… aim wachoong there you go! Throws acorn. Cuts to scene with bimbo lying on the ground still bleeding. : Bimbo : Llike ouchy! Acorn removes the rest of the bimbo from existence, no funeral was held. : Bimbo : Arghhhhh!!! : Pillz-E : Oh that was a good one with the head go explode like a thing gone dead! That’s tremendous with the things over there and everythings gone boom boom boom boom! Wiaaa! : Foamy : Dude you really need to chill out, or increase your prescription man because your freaking me out! : Pillz-E : Sorry with the arms flailing about out and the nervousness and the twitches and the…. Hi! : Foamy : Dude your fucking crazy! I don’t even know you any more man. : Pilz-E : What about over there the babies still alive with the whining and the yelling and the whining and you just left him there living. : Foamy : Don’t you think it would be more traumatic if he knew his mother was killed by a squirrel? : Pillz-E : Oohhh right there with the things and the trauma and everything gone dead and the psychologists and the extra medication for all... : Foamy : Yeah, extra medication for all, why don’t you have some more! : Pillz-E : I think ill go do that with the things and the pill popper popitypopitypopity pop pop poo! : Foamy : Yeah, okay.. see this is why I left in the first time... Ending screen appears. : Foamy : ...because you’re fucking nuts! External Links *Illwillpress website